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MEANWHILE AT THE BAKERY-----

We were all gathered at the bakery, each of us at a separate table; (it’s a virus thing.) Communication was not that much different as most of us are more given to talking than hearing anyway.

I got up and shuffled to the coffee pot to get more caffeination. Others needed the fix as well.

“What’s with the limpitude,” asked Pickle a retiree from the rails. “I’ve never seen you drag your foot like that before.”

“It happened ‘bout 40 years ago out west. You see, I have this weird brother-in-law who lives in a different kinda world; does things, well, weird. Take his house for instance.

No 2x4’s and stuff like that. His is made from concrete; basement of course, but also the main floor. Inside it gets worse. In the middle he plunked a spiral staircase leading to the second floor. Most circular staircases wind around a post, not his. His has a four foot diameter pipe in the middle with steps around it; real sturdy like.

What to do with such a hollow pipe? Put in a phone booth of course.

Relax, I’m getting to the limpitude. I hadn’t talked to the Pearl of the Orient for a long while and had private stuff to say, so I eased myself inside that pipe-come-telephone booth thingy and closed the door, well, almost closed the door. (There is only so much Elliott you can stuff inside a four foot diameter pipe.) A few toes and part of my foot leaked out. The door was barely open.

Along comes my brother-law and sees potential mirth. He reaches down and gives the big one a yank, which causes a chain reaction, starting with the door closing, jamming my foot between the door and the frame.

This was followed by a volley of Canada’s Third Official Language, ending with toe bits strewn across the carpet.

Later on while sitting in the living room with my leg in a sling I had time to think.

You can always pick yer friends it’s ye’r relatives yer stuck with!”

If it wasn’t for this COVID-19 thing I think I’d take a jaunt out to Calgary and lay a beatin’ on him just for old times sake!