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'Buddha' battle about to go south

Sometimes when I look in the mirror, all I see is grey hair, crow's feet deep enough around my eyes to plant seeds in, breasts racing against each other to see which will reach my belly button first, and the beginning of a double chin and turkey neck.

And all of it makes me want to run screaming from the room.

To douse reality, I've thought about standing back from the mirror to the point where everything is blurry. But if I did that, I wouldn't know where I was as my eyesight, too, is slithering downhill.

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